Unwanted Nightmare
by mollygibbs101
Summary: Coming back from Somalia, Ziva's pretty happy until she has a chinese and discovers it's not food poisoning that's making her sick. I thought I'd give it a go, it's been on my mind for a while now, please, please review! There is a better summary inside
1. Chapter 1

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T Rating- I might change it but I genuinely don't know what to rate it as, lol XD

Authors Note: Hiya guys! Thanks for the reviews for 'Your My Alibi' and ' My Uncle Benjamin'. Also thank you NCISmajorlyrocks- it is inspiring to know that I'm a favourite! And a special thank you to Heavensdarkrosechilld ( who's humour has made me laugh, you simply rock!) and another special thank you to kaelleigh- am I really talented? That comment made my day, thank you so so much. Thank you... perhaps this is why I feel inspired to write another one, yes? lol.

I also wanted to say the reviewers at are making me feel really welcome, I'm only new and although I might not be as high profile as CSIGurlie07 or SarahShalomDavid, I'm feeling pretty confident... and that's thanks to you guys... give yourselves a round of applause!!!!!!

On with the fic... now I've got that blubbering fest out of my system lmao XD

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

Sitting at her desk watching the banter between Tony and McGee with an amused expression on her face, Ziva felt at peace, for once. She inhaled, ever since being back from Somalia she knew the others were careful around her, and she appreciated the space. And now that she was to become an NCIS special agent, she felt on top of the world. She looked at her computer screen to see that it was almost half ten at night. She logged off of and bid good night to her two heroes, the third was nowhere to be seen but, that couldn't be helped, she was tired and she needed sleep. She still hadn't gotten used to sleeping on a bed.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Gibbs looked at Ziva's empty desk, he then looked at Tony's and then at McGee's to see he was still there.

'' Still here, McGee?'' He looked up at his boss.

'' Er... yeah, I had a report to finish. I'm almost done though.'' he said, before looking back at his screen. While McGee was speaking, Gibbs had picked up his coat and was walking out of the bullpen.

'' Don't stay too late McGee.' he said, before he disappeared from view, into the elevator. McGee nodded and muttered a ' goodnight Boss', even if he said it out loud Gibbs wouldn't have heard him.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Waking up at exactly half six, Ziva groaned, she really didn't want to get up. Her bed was too comfy. She yawned and hit the snooze button. She settled back down and snuggled deeper under her covers. After several minutes, she jerked her eyes open and sat up. She sat there, trying to ignore the churning in her stomach, god, what did she eat last night... oh yeah, god damn chinese. She exhaled shakily, but it was no good, she ran to the bathroom and covered her newly decorated walls with vomit, she sank to her knees and got rid of the rest of her stomach contents, not that it mattered, she'd have to clean the bathroom anyway. She pulled herself up and cleaned her mouth and washed it out. She looked at her bathroom. She had to admit... it was pretty impressive, however, that was definately the last time she was going to eat chinese before bed. She exhaled and went to get the mop and bucket from her closet, this could take a while.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Walking into the bullpen twenty minutes late, Gibbs was not impressed.

'' What time do you call this David?'' he barked. Tony smirked, it made a change for him not to be the one to get shouted at.

'' Twenty past seven Gibbs, I am sorry, it will not happen again.'' said Ziva apologetically, Gibbs nodded his head.

'' It better not.'' said Gibbs, before turning back to his report. Ziva nodded and sat down on her chair heavily, she still had a nauseous feeling in her stomach, but at least she had a clean bathroom. Switching on her computer, she caught Tony staring at her out of the corner of her eye.

'' Yes Tony?''

'' Oh, I'm just enjoying watching someone else getting told off for being late.''

'' Yes, it is quite rare for you isn't it Tony. I think you are jealous that Gibbs is giving me his attention this morning rather than you.'' said Ziva snappily. Tony and Gibbs frowned.

'' Ouch Ziva, I was only kidding.'' said Tony. Ziva raised an eyebrow.

'' Give me bait and I will bite Tony.'' said Ziva, before looking at her computer. Gibbs ignored what just happened but the frown stayed on his face. Tony looked a little hurt but carried on. Ziva exhaled before excusing herself from the bullpen, she walked as calmly as she could to the ladies room and as soon as she was in there she ran to the nearest open cubicle and threw up again. She threw up once more before she felt she had finished, she flushed the toilet and walked over to the mirror to see a shaky pale version of herself staring back at her. She wiped her mouth and splashed some water on her face. After some colour had returned she left and walked back to the bullpen.

'' What is wrong with me? Do I have food poisoning or something?'' she thought to herself as she sat back down. She shook her head and kept her head down for the rest of the day, only speaking when she was spoken to.

At the end of the day, she left before her team mates after saying goodnight and went to her apartment, where her bed was calling her.

Once she got in she didn't bother changing, she just collapsed onto her bed, exhausted at the day she had just done, she didn't even lift up a pen for crying out loud, now she knew something was really wrong. She sat up and thought and to help her think, she did it out loud.

'' Ok... I am sick, but it can not be the chinese, I have eaten from that place before and been fine... no it is definately not the chinese...'' then she froze, she got up and ran to have a look at her calender, she flipped through the pages, desperately looking for a little sign, but she couldn't find one, she dropped it.

'' Oh God... when did I last have sex?... Somalia... but they all wore protection, I saw them do it themselves... the last person was... oh God no... Saleem...'' said Ziva, slowly sliding down the wall and onto the floor. She had been so busy with her citizenship test and Agent status that she had forgotten about her period, she had missed two... She got up, grabbed her purse and keys and ran out of her apartment, she got in her car and drove until she found an open chemist. She walked in and picked up three pregnancy tests and gave it to the tired looking old lady over the counter. After she had bought them she drove home and did each test individually and waited...


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T Rating

By the way, as in all of my other fics... Jenny is alive and Vance is dead! God I hate that guy!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

Gibbs looked at Ziva's empty desk and exhaled, Tony and McGee exchanged glances and shrugged. Abby came bounding into the bullpen.

'' Gibbs, I really need Ziva... where is she?'' said Abby, noticing Ziva's chair was empty. Gibbs looked at McGee, who picked up his desk phone.

'' Calling her for the fifthteenth time Boss... Still not answering.'' said McGee putting the phone down. Abby looked at Gibbs.

'' Well where is she Gibbs?'' said Abby, putting her hands on her hips, at that point Jenny had entered the bullpen.

'' What's going on Jethro?''

'' Ziva's not in yet.'' Jenny glared at him.

'' Well is she ok?'' Gibbs stood up.

'' I don't know, I'm not with at the moment, am I?'' he said, not far from a shout.

'' Well what is your gut saying?'' asked Abby, visibly worrying about her friend. Tony stood up.

'' Hey, let's not jump the gun here, I mean she might be stuck in traffic.''

'' She would have called me.'' said McGee.

'' Or me.''

'' And me.'' Tony shrugged. Gibbs grabbed his coat.

'' Where are you going?''

'' To look for her apparently.'' said Gibbs, before he left the bullpen. The team watched as Gibbs made his way to the elevator, only to be stopped by Ziva hurrying past him. Gibbs frowned and watched her as she settled at her desk. He walked back to the bullpen and stood in front of her desk.

'' Your late David. Care to explain as to why you weren't here on time?'' Ziva looked at him.

'' Traffic.'' Gibbs looked into her eyes, in throught the very windows of her soul, Ziva looked away from his burning gaze by looking at her computer screen. Gibbs frowned, something was very wrong with Ziva. He shrugged his coat off and went to sit back in his own chair. Aby bounded over to Ziva.

'' Ziva, I really need you for a minute- well actually more than a minute coz it'll take a minnute to walk over to the elevator, but anyway-''

'' Abby, I am coming, yes?'' said Ziva, cutting her eccentric friend off and getting up and walking past her, Abby pulled a face then ran after her. Jenny looked at Gibbs.

'' Something's wrong.''

'' Ya think?'' said Gibbs, before getting back up to get a coffee.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

'' So what did you want me for?'' said Ziva in monotone, she really didn't want to be here right now. Abby turned and looked at her.

'' I need an opinion.'' Ziva sighed.

'' Surely McGee or Tony would be better at this than me.''

'' No. I actually value your opinion and besides, it would be awkward asking them.'' said Abby, before turning back to her computer and pulling up several images of skulls and bats.

'' Which one should I have tattooed?'' Ziva groaned.

'' Abby-''

'' Come on Ziva, we'll even pick one out for you... or not.'' said Abby, after seeing Ziva's expression. Ziva looked at the tattoos, this was going to be a complete and utter waste of her time, she had much more pressing issues to deal with.

'' Abby, I really can not do this, not now.'' said Ziva tiredly, Abby looked at her.

'' Are you ok?'' _No! I am not ok! That stupid bastard Saleem raped me and now I am pregnant and I do not know how to deal with this! _screamed Ziva in her mind.

'' Yes, I am just tired.'' she said aloud. Abby smiled.

'' Ok, it's not that important anyway, it's not like it's a life or death situation.'' joked Abby, Ziva laughed weakly. She said goodbye and left the lab.

On her way back to the bullpen, she ducked into the ladies room and expelled the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. After cleaning herself up, she made her way back to the bullpen, ignoring the looks Tony and McGee were shooting her way. She sat down heavily and began typing on her keyboard, that was until Gibbs came back into the bullpen with a

'' Gear up, we gotta case.'' he said. The three agents motivated themselves and walked into the elevator with their gear, on the way down, Gibbs filled them in.

'' Dead marine at Quantico. They've detained the suspect, but it's still our jurisdiction.'' said Gibbs, answering Tony's unasked question. Ziva sighed. Was today really necessary?

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ziva's world spun as soon as she stepped out of the truck, luckily McGee was on hand to stop her from falling. Ziva looked at him.

'' You ok? You're very pale, Ziva.'' observed McGee. Ziva nodded.

'' I am fine, McGee, really.'' said Ziva, loosening her death-grip on McGee's arm, now everything stopped spinning. Ziva heard Tony's voice floating behind her and she quickly looked at McGee.

'' I won't say anything.'' Ziva nodded.

'' Thank you.'' she muttered. McGee took a side step away from Ziva as Tony and Gibbs came around the corner.

'' McGee, statements, DiNozzo, bag and tag, David, photos.'' said Gibbs, before stomping off to Ducky's arriving truck. Tony grinned and began walking over to his job, McGee was about to follow but Ziva stopped him.

'' Swap with me?''

'' Ziva...''

'' McGee, please, I will take all the blame. I just can not take photos.'' said Ziva, feeling her stomach churning. McGee nodded.

'' Ok.'' Ziva gave him the camera and she took the pen and notepad off of him. Gibbs looked over and was about to ask McGee what the witness and cops had said, only to see Ziva talking to them, instead of McGee. She finished talking to them and turned to see Gibbs glaring at her. She gulped and walked over to him with the notepad full of comments from the witness and cops.

'' I asked McGee to do that, actually no, _I told_ McGee to do it.'' said Gibbs. Ziva sighed and handed him the booklet. She really didn't need this from Gibbs. She turned to walk away and he grabbed her upper arm.

'' What the hell is wrong with you today?'' he asked, his voice had risen in volume. Ducky, Tony, Palmer and McGee had looked up at the scene before them. Tony walked over to McGee.

'' What's going on?'' McGee shrugged.

'' I don't know.''

Ziva tried to get out of of his grip, but found she couldn't.

'' Get off of me... please.'' said Ziva, as calmly as she could. Gibbs let her go and looked at her.

'' Ziva...''

'' I can deal with it, just get off of my back.'' said Ziva before walking off. Gibbs was about to shout at her, when Ducky put a hand on his shoulder.

'' Jethro-''

'' What is going on in that head of hers? It's like she's in a world of her own or something.''

'' And you know it's because something is hurting her, maybe instead of shouting and pulling out of her, you could help the poor girl.'' said Ducky sternly. Gibbs was about to argue, but Ducky silenced it with a look.

'' Jethro, deep down your gut is telling you something is wrong, and you are often right, let her come to you, don't interrogate her. I am sure she has had enough of that in Somalia.'' said Ducky, before walking back over to Palmer, standing patiently next to the gurney behind the truck.

Great... how the hell was Gibbs going to go about this?


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T Rating

Hey, just to let you guys know (if you don't already) that myself and Heavensdarkrosechild have come together and have made a series of one-shots- all about Zibbs of course- the fic is called '' read this or the fargles will get you'', please read and review if you haven't already!!!!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him

* * *

Ziva sat at her desk, incredibly pissed at her superior. So she kept her head down, until the end of the day, where she grabbed her gear and went home, only saying goodbye to McGee- who seemed to be the only person in her good books that day. Arriving at her apartment, Ziva threw her things to one side and went to her bedroom, where she sat and let her emotions get the better of her. She was upset and angry and her pillow was very plump by the time Ziva had finished beating it. Wiping her tears, she walked out of her room and to her kitchen to fix herself something to eat. She made herself a salad and sat down to eat it when a knock sounded on her door. She growled, but went to answer it and was not suprised to see Gibbs standing there. She let him in without a word and made her way back to her salad, leaving Gibbs to close the door, he sat opposite Ziva.

'' Ziva.'' said Gibbs softly, Ziva looked at him.

'' Yes?'' she said sharply, giving Gibbs the impression that she wanted him to leave her alone.

'' I don't want to push you, but I really want you to talk to me.''

'' Gibbs-''

'' It doesn't even have to be me, I just want to know that you're ok because my gut is telling me that your not and it's telling me that your hurting and I don't want to see you upset or hurt, not after Somalia.'' There... he said the word. Ziva looked at him.

'' Why only Somalia? Did you not care about me before then?'' said Ziva, completely dodging his statement like Gibbs knew she would.

'' That's not what I said and you know damn well I cared about you before Somalia and I still do care about you.''

'' Which is why you are here now.'' said Ziva, picking at her salad. Gibbs nodded.

'' I know something is wrong... just, let me help you.'' said Gibbs, Ziva looked at him.

'' Do you want a coffee?'' said Ziva, getting up. Gibbs sighed. Obviously he wasn't going to get anywhere.

'' Yeah, please.'' Ziva busied herself making Gibbs a coffee, and making herself a tea. After she gave Gibbs his coffee and she had sat down with her tea, she looked at him.

'' What do you really want, Gibbs?'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' Just tell me what's bothering you, maybe I can help.'' said Gibbs before sipping his coffee. Ziva got up.

'' Wait here.'' She walked down her hall, into her athroom, picked up what she needed and returned to the kitchen and gave it to Gibbs. After she sat down, she looked at his reaction. He looked shocked and a little angry.

'' You're pregnant?'' Ziva could feel the waterworks starting.

'' Yes. Two months, a week and three days.'' said Ziva, she could see the cogs turning in Gibbs' mind, he looked at her.

'' Somalia...'' Ziva nodded, her eyes filled with tears, he was getting close and she knew he wouldn't like it one bit.

'' Who did this to you?'' asked Gibbs, not taking his eyes off of the white stick in his hands. A tear travelled down Ziva's face, she didn't want to answer. Gibbs looked at her.

'' Zi... Tell me.''

'' Does it matter, he is dead.'' said Ziva, through a sob, getting herself worked up. Gibbs sighed.

'' Zi-'' Ziva stood up.

'' No! I have told you what is bothering me, now leave me alone!'' cried Ziva, before walking down the hall and shutting herself in her bedroom, Gibbs winced as the door slammed. He put the pregnancy test on the table and left. He could hear Ducky in his mind saying-'' _You pushed her too far, Jethro_.''

'' Yeah, I know.'' said Gibbs, to the empty car.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Walking into the bullpen the next morning, Gibbs was suprised to see Ziva, McGee and Tony working at their desks. He looked at his watch, he wasn't late... He looked at Ziva, she looked quite pale this morning, maybe she hadn't been sick yet. Gibbs felt sick, how could those bastards do this to her? Had she not suffered enough? He sat down at his desk, with an annoyed bump. He looked over at Ziva again only to turn away just as quickly as she gave him an annoyed stare.

The day progressed slowly, they managed to solve the case, and all of the team, including Ducky, Abby and Jenny could see that something was on Gibbs' mind and quite frankly it freaked them out. Gibbs could normally hide his emotions but it seemed whatever was bugging him was really bad.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Walking into autopsy, Gibbs was looking very preoccupied. Ducky motioned for Palmer to go, leaving Gibbs and Ducky alone.

'' What's wrong, my dear boy?'' asked Ducky, getting rid of his bloody attire. Gibbs thought for a minute.

'' I know what's wrong with Ziva.''

'' So your instincts were correct. I assume you talked to her.'' said Ducky, looking at his friend.

'' Yeah...''

'' Can you repeat what she told you or would you rather not?'' asked Ducky. Gibbs exhaled.

'' She's pregnant Duck.'' Ducky smiled.

'' Oh, there is no need for such a sombre mood Jethro, new life should be celebrated! Who's the father?'' Gibbs looked at Ducky.

'' She won't tell me, all I know is she got pregnant in Somalia.'' Ducky's face lost it's smile and a darkened expression took over, while Gibbs' hands curled into fists.

'' Jethro...''

'' It's hurting her Duck, and she won't tell me, she won't let me in.'' said Gibbs, Ducky looked at him, it was obvious he cared about Ziva, and to be honest, it was pretty obvious he loved her. He went mad, knowing Ziva was out there somewhere getting hurt and when he heard the ship she was on sunk, he had lost it completely. He only pulled himself together enough to be a rock for the rest of the team, which they had desparately needed.

'' Jethro, right now she probably needs to know you are on her side. Just let her know you are there to help... It might even help to let her know how you feel about her.''

'' Yeah... that'll screw her head up even more Duck.''

'' Well, I know she trusts you enough to know you aren't taking advantage.'' said Ducky. Gibbs shrugged.

'' Or why don't you let her come to you?'' said Ducky, Gibbs shrugged again.

'' She won't and I'm too impatient.'' said Gibbs before he left autopsy.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sanding his boat, calmed him down a little, but he was still pretty angry with everyone, including himself, he had practically sent Ziva to Somalia, he had practically sent her to be beaten and interrogated and raped, it was his fault... and Eli David's, but then again, everything is his fault. His head perked up, someone was waling around his house, he walked over to the cabinet where hs gun was and waited, only to see Ziva walk down his basement stairs, she had obviously been crying, she walked over to where he was standing and leant again the spine of his boat. He noticed her breathing was irregular, so she was still pretty upset.

'' I need to talk.'' she said, her voice thick and her accent heavy. Gibbs nodded and sat back and waited for her to begin.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T/M Rating- I think it would be safe to up it... let me know what you think???

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

_Recap_

_...she had obviously been crying, she walked over to where he was standing and leant again the spine of his boat. He noticed her breathing was irregular, so she was still pretty upset._

_'' I need to talk.'' she said, her voice thick and her accent heavy. Gibbs nodded and sat back and waited for her to begin. _

She looked at him and took in a deep breath.

'' I need to know that this will not leave the basement, I do not want sympathy or pity.'' said Ziva. Gibbs nodded.

'' I give you my word.'' said Gibbs softly. Ziva walked over and sat next to Gibbs.

'' It was originally intended to make me talk.''

'' The rape?''

'' Yes, all of them invaded my body, under Saleem's orders, but he always made them wear protection. Once he saw that it did not make me talk, he just let the men have their way, he had other ways of making me talk. He used to sit and watch them, with a horrible smug look on his face.'' said Ziva, the last part, made her voice shake in anger and there were tears in her eyes. Gibbs held Ziva's hand, she looked at him, but she didn't seem to mind. She liked how a wave of warmth washed over her body, it made her feel safe.

'' They got me pregnant a day before I saw McGee and Tony in that room. One of his men was getting me ready, I thought he was going to do it. He had had me several times before so I had already tuned out, but then Saleem came into the room and I knew he was going to do it. I panicked, I screamed at him, I told him to go away and leave me alone, but he just laughed. He ordered his men to hold me down and he climbed on top of me. He did not penetrate me just then... he just touched me. With his grimy hands. I tried not to let him show he was getting to me but he just kept touching and stroking me. He kept smiling and calling me 'his girl'. None of them had even thought about touching me, they just took what they wanted.'' said Ziva, shaking with anger and a tear travelling down her cheek, Gibbs pulled her onto his lap and hugged her. He was having difficulty hearing this, he could only imagine how Ziva was feeling telling him what had happened. Ziva gulped.

'' Once he stopped touching me, he stripped and positioned himself to enter me. He looked at me and said ' I am going to make you scream', I tried to get out of his men's grip, but I could not. He held my face and looked me in the eyes while he thrust into me as hard as he could. I screamed. It hurt so much. He just held my head in place and his eyes were always on mine, he kept thrusting and then I could feel something.'' Gibbs had held her while she spoke and was stroking her hair.

'' What?'' he asked quietly, his eyes were moist, he couldn't bear hearing Ziva so hurt and upset, he was suddenly thankful he was the one to kill Saleem. He was thankful for killing the bastard who did this to his beautiful Ziva.

'' He did not wear protection, he came inside me.'' said Ziva, before she burst into a new set of tears. Gibbs held her close and rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.

'' I've got you Zi, he can't get you anymore.'' said Gibbs. Ziva turned and clung onto him as her cries turned into heartbreaking sobs. He held her and comforted her.

After she had finished, she looked up at him.

'' Thank you for letting me cry and for listening.'' she sniffed, he was still stroking her hair.

'' That's ok.'' She sighed and then her stomach rumbled. He looked at her.

'' You haven't eaten?''

'' No, I came here straight after work, I did not want to put it off.'' said Ziva. Gibbs stood up and pulled Ziva along until he reached his kitchen, he sat her down and busied himself making her something to eat. He set a sandwich in front of her and she ate it. After she finished she looked at him.

'' Gibbs?''

'' Yeah, Zi.'' said Gibbs tiredly, he felt exhausted.

'' What am I going to do?'' she whimpered, Gibbs thought she looked like a small child, lost and vulnerable. He walked over to her and hugged her. She returned it, grateful that he wasn't trying to push her or force her to do anything. He pulled her up and they walked into his living room where Gibbs sat down and let Ziva lie across his lap, and hugged his arm close to her chest. Gibbs resumed his stoking of her hair.

'' Well, what do you want to do?''

'' I can not keep it, Gibbs, I really can not.'' said Ziva, sniffing. Gibbs bent down to kiss her head, and she looked at him.

'' If you want to get rid of it Zi, I'll be behind you every step of the way.'' said Gibbs, Ziva nodded and played with his fingers.

'' Should I think about it first?''

'' What does your heart say?'' Ziva looked at him.

'' That I cannot keep it, I do not want to kill it but I do not want it either. It is not it's fault, but I am afraid that if I look into the child's eyes I will see Saleem staring back at me. I can not do that... I really can not, Gibbs.'' said Ziva, a tear travelling down her face. Gibbs held her close.

'' I don't want to influence your decision, but I wouldn't want it either. Not because I wasn't ready but because of the way it was conceived and by whom it was conceived.'' Ziva looked at him, pain so evident in her brown orbs.

'' It's up to you Zi, you know I'll support any decision you make and I'll have your six.'' said Gibbs, Ziva nodded.

'' Yeah, I know, I still need to make up my mind.'' Ziva sat up and fell into Gibbs' embrace. She hugged him tight and he returned it. She then looked at him.

'' Are you ok?''

'' Yeah, just can't help but feel this is my fault somehow.'' said Gibbs, Ziva looked at him.

'' Oh, no, no, no, it was not your fault Gibbs, you did not tell them to do it. It was not your fault, and I refuse to think it was your fault, please do not do this Gibbs, I need you. Please.'' said Ziva, holding Gibbs' head. Gibbs nodded.

'' Ok.'' Ziva and Gibbs looked into each other's eyes and they grew closer, so close, their lips were almost touching and Gibbs closed the distance and pressed his to Ziva's. It started out slow and Gibbs rested his hand on the small of her back, his thumb stroking her softly. Ziva wrapped her hands around his neck and caressed it. They broke apart and looked at each other, their noses touching.

'' Gibbs...''

'' Ziva.'' Ziva gave a small smile and she kissed him again, which he gladly reciprocated. They pulled apart again and were just content letting their heads rest against each others.

'' I didn't want to alarm you, but I do like you, you know.'' said Gibbs. Ziva looked at him.

'' Really? Even after everything that has happened?''

'' Yeah, especially after everything that's happened.'' Ziva smiled gently, her first genuine smile since she found she was pregnant with that monster's child.

'' I've liked you a long time Ziva, it's only taken me four years to realise it.'' said Gibbs, tucking a curl behind Ziva's ears. She smiled again and let her head rest in the crook of his neck, he held her close and sighed. This was how it was meant to be, him and Ziva. She yawned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Gibbs kissed her forehead and picked her up, but she protested.

'' No, Gibbs, I need to go home.''

'' Not a chance Zi, you're staying here tonight, you're too tired to drive.'' said Gibbs, walking upstairs, he walked into his bedroom and lay her under his covers. He kissed her head and began to walk out when he heard her call his name. He looked at her.

'' Yeah?''

'' Do you need to go? Can you not stay?'' Gibbs crossed the room and after ridding himself of his jeans, he crawled under the covers and Ziva immediately wrapped herself around him.

'' I'll drive you to yours tomorrow, you get dressed and I'll take you to work. Just say you had car trouble if DiNozzo says anything.'' said Gibbs, when he didn't get an answer, he grinned, she was fast asleep.

Now that hurdle was out of the way, another was fast approaching. Ziva had yet to tell Gibbs how she was going to deal with her problem, and he had a feeling it was going to be pretty rough... for both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T/M Rating

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

Chapter 5

Ziva slept soundly, breathing in and out, her head on Gibbs' broad chest and her hand under his shirt laying gently on his chest. Gibbs was caressing Ziva's back, while listening to her breathing, watching her sleeping form, rise and fall with her oxygen intake. It was almost time for her to get up, but Gibbs really didn't want to move her. He reached out with his free hand and turned the alarm off, he had decided it would be better if he woke her up himself. His hand raised up higher to rest in between her shoulder blades. Ziva stirred and mumbled something, but her eyes remained shut. He grinned and kissed her forehead. Her eyes flickered open and were unfocused, she tensed and was about to panic when she didn't recognise where she was, but Gibbs' hand reminded her and she let some of the tension fade away.

'' You awake, Zi?'' Ziva snuggled into Gibbs' side.

'' Yes, I am... Just.'' Gibbs chuckled.

'' Planning on getting up?'' Ziva sighed.

'' Yes, I suppose I should.'' said Ziva, though she didn't make a move to. Gibbs caressed her back and Ziva relaxed completely against him. After a moment, she bolted up and ran to the bathroom, Gibbs was up like a shot and behind her rubbing her back and holding her hair. After she finished, Gibbs picked her up and put her back on the bed. She looked up at him and gave a small smile.

'' Sorry.''

'' It's ok.'' said Gibbs, handing her a glass of water, which she gratefully used to get the taste of sick from her mouth. Gibbs let his cheek rest on hers for a moment before pulling away.

'' Come on, we need to get to work.'' he said, holding out his hand and helping her up. She got up and looked at him.

'' I'm just going to grab a quick shower and get dressed.'' Ziva nodded.

'' Ok, I will be downstairs, I will make some coffee, yes?'' Gibbs grinned.

'' Atta Girl.'' said Gibbs, pressing a kiss to her cheek and disappearing into his bathroom. Ziva went downstairs and busied herself making coffee for Gibbs and herself. Once she had made some coffee and poured herself some, she sat at Gibbs kitchen table and waited for him to appear. She didn't have to wait long as he appeared after she had taken her third sip. He kissed the top of her head, and picked up his mug of coffee and took a sip.

'' Wow, this is some coffee Ziva.'' She shrugged. He downed it and watched her as she took small sips, she finished and looked at him.

'' What?''

'' We're going to be late.'' Ziva gave a small smile.

'' You are giving me a lift to work.'' Gibbs grinned.

'' Come on, we need to get to yours.'' Ziva nodded and stood up. They went to his car, once they had gathered Ziva's things and Gibbs drove to her apartment. They entered it and Gibbs' eyebrows went through the roof, Ziva looked at him with an embarrased look.

'' I was angry and took it out on my living room.'' Gibbs nodded. Ziva had thrown her chair across her living room, knocking several items of furniture over. She made her apartment look like a crime scene, apart from there wasn't a dead body... yet. Ziva picked up the lamp that had been knocked off of the table next to where her chair was. Gibbs took it from her.

'' Go grab a shower, I'll clean up.''

'' No Gibbs, it is my mess-''

'' Ziver...'' Ziva looked at him, to see him giving her a half-hearted glare and she sighed.

'' Fine, but I do it under duress.'' said Ziva, walking towards her bathroom. She entered and shut the door behind her. Gibbs sighed and began cleaning up Ziva's living room, once everything was righted, he sat in the chair, nearest the bathroom. He had just sat down, when he heard Ziva give a small cry. He was up and into the bathroom as quick as a bullet left a gun, he opened the door to see Ziva... a naked Ziva, looking at her reflection in the mirror, Gibbs honestly didn't know where to look. Ziva looked at him, tears travelling down her cheeks.

'' Look.'' she said, her gaze fell to her lower abdomen, where there was a small bump beginning to form. Gibbs looked and pulled her into his embrace. He didn't care that she was nude and she didn't care either, she just wanted, no, needed to be held. She pulled herself out of Gibbs' embrace, suddenly aware of her lack of attire, and to prove it, a small blush settled over her cheeks.

'' Gibbs-''

'' Don't worry, I only saw what you showed me, hop into the shower.'' He said, pressing a small kiss to her forehead. Ziva nodded and did as she was told. Gibbs left and waited for her to finish in the shower. After ten minutes, she came out, fully dressed and her hair tied back, however her eyes were still red. Gibbs got out of the chair he was sitting in and pulled her into another hug, which she returned.

'' We're going to work now, ok?'' Ziva nodded.

'' My car is not working.'' Gibbs grinned.

'' I know, that's why I'm giving you a lift.'' They seperated and they left Ziva's apartment and were on the road in five minutes.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Tony looked up to see Ziva and Gibbs walking into the office half an hour late. Ziva sat down in her desk, while Gibbs went to deliver Abby a Caf-POW!.

'' Hey, Zee-vah, why are you late?'' Ziva looked at Tony.

'' My car wound not start, so Gibbs gave me a ride. Is that a problem?'' she said snappily. McGee looked up at Ziva and then at Tony.

'' Tony, leave her alone.'' said McGee, giving Tony his best Gibbs-glare. Tony scoffed.

'' Jeez, I only asked a question, McGoo.'' Ziva stood up and walked over to McGee, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

'' Thank you, McGee.'' said Ziva, before leaving the bullpen. Tony went to stand in front of McGee's desk.

'' Ok Probie, what's going on?'' he said seriously. McGee shrugged.

'' I don't know, but I got a feeling that Boss does.'' Tony agreed, then frowned in thought.

'' I think that might be what's on Boss' mind.'' McGee looked at Tony.

'' Ziva on the Boss' mind?''

'' No, something to do with Ziva, maybe why she's been snappy lately.'' McGee nodded.

'' You know, yesterday, when we were at the crime scene, we swapped jobs, she said she couldn't take photos and she looked really sick.'' Tony looked at McGee.

'' I wonder what it is. I mean, why isn't she telling us?'' McGee shrugged.

'' Maybe she's upset about something?''

'' Or someone?''

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ziva walked into Autopsy, which thankfully didn't have any bodies on display, she walked past Palmer and stood in front of Ducky.

'' I really need to speak with you, Ducky.'' said Ziva. Ducky looked at Palmer.

'' Mr Palmer, why don't you go and get an early lunch?'' suggested Ducky. Palmer nodded.

'' Yes Doctor... Ziva.'' he said, before leaving Autopsy, the doors swishing shut behind him.

'' Have a seat, my dear.''

'' I think it will be you who needs the seat, Ducky.'' said Ziva, taking a seat anyway. Ducky also took one.

'' Right my dear, what can I do for you?'' Ziva fiddled with her sleeve. And she finally looked up at him.

'' I am pregnant.'' Ducky looked at her.

'' Ziva-''

'' I do not want to be, so please do not congratulate me.'' said Ziva, Ducky nodded.

'' Well, where is the father?''

'' Gibbs killed him, the father is Saleem.'' Ducky took Ziva's hand and held it.

'' Ziva-''

'' I do not want it Ducky, but I can not kill it and if I keep it-''

'' What do you want to do?''

'' I honestly do not know but I think the best thing to do would be to get a termination.'' Ducky looked at her.

'' Do you honestly think you should? I'm sure Jethro will support you.''

'' I know but I can not do this Ducky, I can not give birth to or raise that monster's child.'' said Ziva, tears forming in her eyes.

'' Ziva, even if you did have the termination, how do you think you would feel after? I personally think your state of mind would be in turmoil.'' Ziva nodded.

'' I agree, it is even now... How would you know if Gibbs would support me or not?'' asked Ziva, looking at Ducky.

'' My dear, it is so clear, how much he feels for you.'' said Ducky, Ziva gave a small smile.

'' He really looked after me last night and this morning.'' said Ziva. Ducky smiled.

'' And he will continue doing so.''

'' He said he would support me with whatever decision I made.''

'' And he will.''

'' Ducky, I know this sounds awful, but I really need to have that termination. I just can not do it and it would put my mind at ease knowing I had a good friend waiting to help me.'' Ducky sighed.

'' Of course my dear, I will help you, I can suggest a doctor, if you wish.'' said Ducky, Ziva nodded.

'' It is for the best, yes?'' Ducky nodded.

* * *

Ok... What do you guys want to happen? I have a few ideas of how it could go... but I would like to know what the lovely reviewers think...


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T/M Rating

Thanks so much for your input and well... here it is, I hope you guys like it and let me know what you think!

There is an 'arguement' between Tony and Ziva, basically I'm putting it down to hormones and stress. But also I honestly didn't know how I should do this chapter but I knew I wanted the team to know, so this is how it's come out, please review and tell me what you think!!!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

Sitting at her desk in the bullpen, Ziva felt a little more relaxed than she did earlier. It helped her to talk things through with Ducky and she felt like some of the weight on her shoulders had disappeared. But that was they key phrase, only _some _of the weight had disappeared, she still needed to tell Gibbs and she hoped she'd have his support.

A paperball hitting her chest soon knocked her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Tony giving her his cheeky smile.

'' What Tony?''

'' You ok Zee-vah? You're very quiet.'' Ziva glared at him.

'' I am fine, I would be alot better if you did not throw paper balls at me.'' said Ziva snappily, McGee shook his head. Tony got up and stood in front of Ziva's desk.

'' Ziva, your my partner, you can tell me.'' Ziva looked at him angrily.

'' Tell you what? That you are annoying, I am sure you already knew that Tony.'' McGee sensing a fight, left his chair and stood next to Ziva.

'' Tony, knock it off.'' said McGee, Ziva looked at McGee gratefully, Tony glared at McGee, but went and sat back down at his desk. Ziva sent a nod McGee's way and carried on with what she was doing. Walking into the bullpen, Gibbs could automatically see that something had happened and judging by the way Ziva was glaring at Tony and how he was glaring back, it was between the two of them. Ziva looked at Gibbs, then stood. The three men looked at Ziva.

'' Ziva-''

'' I am going home, I do not want to do today. Not if Tony is going to be poking and interrogating me all day.'' said Ziva. Tony stood up and glared.

'' Well maybe I wouldn't have to if you told me what was wrong! It's not just me, the Director and McGee thinks so too.'' Ziva looked at McGee, who looked a little embarrased.

'' Well, you looked sick a few days ago and-''

'' So you told Tony?''

'' No, well not really.'' Gibbs walked over to Ziva and was about to put a hand on her shoulder but she took a step away from him. He looked at her to see an angry red blush had settled over her cheeks. Jenny, who was on her way down the stairs to see Ducky, who had appeared with Abby into the bullpen, walked into the bullpen to see what was going on.

'' Is everybody talking about me, behind my back?'' asked Ziva, angrily. Some members of the team shifted uncomfortably. Jenny looked at Ziva.

'' Sweetie, we're just worried about you-''

'' So you tell me to my face, you do not bitch about me behind my back.'' retorted Ziva, clearly wound up. Gibbs walked over to her and put his hand on the small of her back, not caring if people were wide-eyed or open-mouthed. He rested his lips on her cheek, near her ear.

'' Ziva-''

'' No! I have had enough! Ever since I got back from Somalia, people have been walking on eggshells around me and talking about me behind my back. It is not fair! I am still the same person-''

'' No I haven't.'' said Tony, Ziva glared at him.

'' Yes, you have, you have just admitted it, you idiot.'' growled Ziva, Gibbs' hand started moving up and down her back, in an attempt to calm her down, but Ziva was way too pissed, for lack of a better word, with her 'friends'.

'' Well, while the Boss is touching you up, maybe you could spill.'' said Tony, getting angry, he was only trying to help. Ziva's eyes flashed with anger while Gibbs chose to ignore his remark and continue with what he was doing.

'' How dare you!'' said Ziva, her voice had grown louder.

'' What? You look pretty comfortable with him like that! Tell me Ziva, how long's it been going on, huh? How long have you been screwing the Boss?'' said Tony, his anger, getting the better of his head, mouth and self-control. Jenny, Abby, Ducky and McGee just stood in silence, watching the arguement unfold and Ducky had a feeling that all would be revealed. Gibbs held Ziva back as she tensed up, like she normally does for a fight.

'' You have no idea what I have been through!'' yelled Ziva.

'' So that's your excuse for sleeping with the Boss?''

'' This has nothing to do with Gibbs, Tony! This is about you and your inability to shut the hell up and leave people alone!''

'' I only wanted to help, Ziva!''

'' Well I am getting plenty of help!''

'' Yeah, from the Boss!''

'' What is the matter with you?''

'' Whad'ya mean what's the matter with me? You're the one being a snappy bitch!''

'' I have my reasons Tony and let me tell you- you are not helping!''

'' Well, lets hear it then, come on, tell me! Why?''

'' I am pregnant!'' screamed Ziva. Once those words left her mouth, it felt like time stopped, or the world had stopped spinning, no-one seemed to have the ability to speak. Gibbs kept his hold on Ziva and he lowered his head to rest on her cheek. Tony looked at her, the team one by one slowly followed suit.

'' Are you happy now? Did you get your little kick?'' said Ziva bitterly.

'' Ziva, I-''

'' No, you got what you wanted, now leave me alone.'' said Ziva, one of her hands found Gibbs' and she squeezed it before getting herself out of Gibbs' grip, grabbing her gear and walking to the elevator, the doors slid open and she looked at Tony, a single tear falling down her face.

'' Some friend you are.'' she said, before she stepped into the elevator. The doors closed and the team looked at Gibbs, who looked at Tony.

'' Boss I didn't mean-''

'' Tell that to her DiNozzo.'' Abby looked at Gibbs.

'' Who's the father?'' she asked, all of them dreading the answer.

'' Saleem.'' said Gibbs, before walking back to his desk and seating himself. He had a feeling Ziva needed time to herself and when she was ready, she'd call. Tony felt his insides twist with guilt. He looked at Ducky, who simply shook his head and he and Jenny went upstairs to her office, Abby shrugged and gave him a quick hug then disappeared back to her lab. He then looked at McGee, who actually seemed pissed with him.

'' Pro-''

'' I told you to knock it off Tony.'' he said, before carrying on with what he was doing. Tony sat in his chair and sighed. Boy, he's really gone and screwed it up this time.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Gibbs sighed with impatience, he was stuck behind the wheel of his car, which was stuck behind a red light. He was on his way to Ziva's apartment after an incredibly awkward day at work. Yeah, he was pissed with DiNozzo, but that didn't matter just now, he needed to speak with and see Ziva.

He parked outside her building and took three steps at a time until he reached her door. He let himself in, with the key she had given him earlier. He took his coat off and hung it up.

'' Ziver!'' he called.

'' Kitchen.'' she called back, he walked to the kitchen to see her standing over a steaming pot of some sort. He walked over and stood behind her and kissed her neck, she gave a small grin and kissed his cheek. He let his hands rest on her hips.

'' You ok?''

'' Yes, I believe so.'' she said, he rested his chin on her shoulder and she sighed.

'' Are we together?''

'' If you want to be. Just thought I'd let you know, I like giving you hugs.'' Ziva gave a small chuckle, she let the wooden spoon rest in the post for a minute and turned so they were face to face.

'' I want to be.'' said Ziva, Gibbs kissed the top of her head.

'' Ok then.'' Ziva smiled and turned back to what she was cooking.

'' Do you want me to get the plates?''

'' Yes, please.'' said Ziva, nodding as she said so. Gibbs left Ziva, got plates down and decided to set the table as well. After dinner was dished up they sat at the table and ate together. Gibbs looked at Ziva and decided something, other than the obvious, was wrong with her.

'' You wanna talk?'' Ziva set her cutlery down and Gibbs braced himself, in case she was going to yell at him.

'' Yes, I want to.'' Gibbs nodded, which told her she could continue.

'' Tony-''

'' Was way out of line, I know.'' said Gibbs, Ziva shook her head.

'' He was only trying to help, I should not have shouted.''

'' But he still pushed you too far.'' Ziva gave a defeated nod.

'' Yes. Did he ask who the father was?''

'' Yeah, well, no, Abs did.''

'' You told them?''

'' Yeah.''

'' Good, because I did not want to tell them, it was hard enough telling Ducky. I do not think I would have liked to see the expressions on their faces.'' said Ziva, Gibbs held her hand. and his thumb traced little circles on her skin. Ziva watched his thumb and it was like it was hypnotising her into speaking.

'' I have also decided what I should do.'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' What? Ziva-''

'' Ducky found a doctor for me, Gibbs, I am going to have a termination.''


	7. Chapter 7

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T/M Rating

A massive thank you to all reviews. As an author, and a very young one at that, I respect all opinions as everybody is entitled to one. Also another massive thank you to all of those reviewers who have supported me, this is for you guys and you know who you are!

Sorry for the delay...

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

* * *

Chapter 7

_Recap_

_'' I have also decided what I should do.'' Gibbs looked at her._

_'' What? Ziva-''_

_'' Ducky found a doctor for me, Gibbs, I am going to have a termination.''_

Gibbs looked at her, his hand still clasped around hers. He nodded slowly.

'' Your sure that's what you want?'' Ziva closed her eyes.

'' Yes, I can not have the baby Gibbs.''

'' Adoption then.'' said Gibbs, Ziva pulled her hand away shaking her head.

'' I know what will happen, I will give birth to it and look at it and want it, then if it was taken away I would spend the rest of my life doubting and thinking about the decision I made. Not to mention that when the child was eighteen, it would look for me.'' Ziva sighed, tears in her eyes.

'' I thought you said you were behind me? That you had my back?'' asked Ziva, sounding pretty hurt, Gibbs took her hand.

'' I am, I'm just making sure you know what you're doing.'' said Gibbs, raising her hand to his lips and kissing it. Ziva nodded and and exhaled.

'' Are you staying here tonight?'' asked Ziva, Gibbs looked at her.

'' If you want me too.'' Ziva nodded.

'' I do.'' Gibbs leant in to kiss her temple, but Ziva moved her head so that his lips brushed hers. He looked at her in question and she just gave a small smile. Gibbs kissed her again and she returned it. Their kiss was short-lived as a knock sounded on Ziva's door. They broke apart, Ziva sighed again. Gibbs gave her a small wink.

'' I got it, finish up.'' he said, getting up, kissing her head and walking over to the door. Ziva picked up her cutlery and continued eating her dinner.

Gibbs opened the door to see a very sorry looking Anthony DiNozzo, holding a large bouquet of lilies, standing outside Ziva door. He looked suprised when Gibbs answered, he was expecting Ziva.

'' Boss? What are you doing here?''

'' We're screwing, remember?'' said Gibbs, the icyness in his eyes, reflected in his voice. Tony winced as if someone dealt him a blow.

'' Yeah, Boss, that's what I'm here about, I want to apologise to Ziva... and you.'' said Tony, shuffling his feet. Gibbs leant against the door frame.

'' Is that so?''

Ziva put her knife and fork down after she finished, she then noticed that Gibbs had been gone for a while, she put her plate, knife and fork into the sink and went to see what was taking Gibbs so long.

'' Gibbs, your dinner is gett-'' began Ziva, walking into the hall, but only half finishing her sentence as soon as she saw who was keeping him. Tony looked at Ziva. Gibbs turned.

'' Do you want to hear what he has to say?'' he asked, walking over to her, tucking a curl behind her ear. Tony still stood in the doorway. Ziva shrugged.

'' After today, it had better be good.'' said Ziva, before she left to sit in her living room, Gibbs jerked his head, before following Ziva, telling Tony that he could come in. Tony stepped in and closed the door behind him, he walked through the hall, put the flowers on the table near the door and found Ziva's living room, where they both were sitting together on the sofa, well Gibbs had his feet tucked under him, his arm around Ziva, whose head was leaning on his chest. Tony sat in a chair opposite the new found couple. Tony shifted uncomfortably for a minute or two before he found the courage to look at Ziva.

'' Erm, I wanted to say sorry, for being a total jerk today.'' said Tony. Ziva scoffed.

'' You were more than a jerk today Tony, believe me.'' said Ziva. Gibbs intertwined his hand with Ziva's and rubbed circles into her skin with his thumb, like he was earlier. Tony noticed and looked at the floor.

'' I'm really sorry, Ziva, I shouldn't have treated you like that and you are right. I'm not much of a friend, especially after what I did.'' Ziva looked at Tony.

'' I am not going to lie and say that I was going to tell you, because I was not. I wanted to deal with it before it was too late.'' said Ziva, knowing Tony would dig and she was going to let him. Tony took in the words she had spoken and frowned.

'' Deal with it? What d'you mean by that?'' Ziva nudged Gibbs, indicating she didn't want to speak anymore.

'' She's going to get rid of it, DiNozzo.'' said Gibbs, Tony's gaze flickered to Gibbs and back.

'' An abortion?''

'' Yes, I have explained my decision to Ducky and Gibbs, I do not wish to repeat myself. I just want to know if you respect my decision, especially under the circumstances.'' said Ziva, really wanting to change the conversation but Tony had a right to know.

'' Yeah, I respect it, but I don't agree.'' said Tony, Ziva nodded and stood up, she looked at Tony.

'' The flowers are beautiful and I accept your apology Tony, your reaction was understandable, if harsh.'' she turned to Gibbs.

'' I will be in bed, I am exhausted.'' said Ziva, before yawning as if to prove her point. The two men stood up, but before Ziva could walk to her bedroom, Tony spoke.

'' When's your appointment?''

'' Tomorrow, at half one.'' she said, before disappearing. They watched her go and as soon as they heard her door shut, Tony looked at his mentor.

'' Boss, you can't-''

'' Oh believe me DiNozzo, I've tried and Ducky has too, she's made up her mind and to be honest, I don't blame her. If I was in that position I know I would.''

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

After Tony had left, Gibbs went to Ziva's room to see her curled up in a ball on her bed. Gibbs sat behind her and stroked her back. He listened to her breathing and her breathing had told him she had been crying. He kicked off his shoes and kissed her shoulder, letting her know that he was there for her.

'' He must think I am some kind of monster.'' said Ziva through tears. Gibbs was about to answer her but she continued.

'' If a woman gets pregnant and the man does not want it, he has the power to walk away, and that is not frowned upon completely. If a woman is pregnant and she does not want it, she has the power to get an abortion, yet it is frowned upon. It is not fair.''

'' No it's not.'' agreed Gibbs, his lips on her skin, speaking into her shoulder, he really 'felt' her pain. It really wasn't fair.

'' Does Tony really think that I want to kill this baby? That I have nothing better to do than murder an unborn child? If it was anybody elses... I would keep it. I can not keep Saleem's baby, Gibbs, I can not.'' said Ziva, her tears flowing. Gibbs hugged her, he hated seeing her cry and she had done an awful lot of it over the past few days. He kissed her forehead.

'' I know Ziva, and who cares what DiNozzo thinks, it's your decision and I'm supporting you all the way. I'll even go to that appointment with you tomorrow, if you want.'' offered Gibbs, Ziva turned and looked at him, so they were both lying down, nose to nose.

'' You would do that? For me?'' asked Ziva. Gibbs looked into her eyes.

'' I would go to hell and back for you Ziva, and if what we're dealing with is hell, then you know my answer.'' said Gibbs, sincerely. Ziva gave a sob and Gibbs pulled her to him and he held her as she carried on crying, thankful that she had someone like Gibbs on her side, watching her back. He stroked her hair, while whispering soothing words, which wasn't easy- what words could soothe a pain like this?


	8. Chapter 8

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tradegy

T/M Rating

First off, I'd like to say thanks to the reviews and I'd like to apologise to Megan incase I hurt her feelings. I only wrote that because I took into account of what _could_happen and I obviously didn't take into account of what _might not _happen - if that makes sense- so once again I apologise, Megan.

Also, I feel less inspired for this fic than I do for 'Role Reversal' so bear with me and I'll try and do something about it.

Now I know why I've been lacking inspiration for this fic, I've not been true to myself, I knew in the beginning I wanted Ziva to go through with the termination, but I thought I thought it through, but obviously I didn't, so here's the real chapter! And if you've reviewed already, I accept non-signed reviews so if you want to let me know what you think and as for Liraeyn... well I guess you'll have to block me...

Thanks for the support for this one! I'm officially dedicating this story to those that have backed me all the way!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 8

Ziva awoke to the feeling of being held, she opened her eyes to see a pair of sparkling blue ones staring back. Gibbs gave a small grin.

'' You awake?'' Ziva rolled her eyes.

'' No, I am fast asleep.'' said Ziva sarcastically, Gibbs looked at her again.

'' You're looking pale, you ok?'' Ziva nodded, then bit her lip.

'' It is just today, the sooner it is over the better.'' said Ziva, Gibbs pulled her to him and kissed her forehead.

'' What time is the appointment?''

'' 13:30, sorry, I meant half one.'' said Ziva, Gibbs rubbed her shoulder and just hugged her, which she returned. Gibbs exhaled.

'' Are you going to work today?'' Ziva shot up and ran to the bathroom and Gibbs walked in just as she expelled the contents of her stomach. He rubbed her back and cleaned her up. He helped her up and

took her back to her bed and sat her down. Ziva took in a deep breath and let one back out.

'' Sorry.'' she mumbled.

'' S'ok.''

'' Guess I am not going to work, huh?''

'' You can if you want.''

'' And have Abby and everybody telling me that I am making the wrong decision? No, I think I will stay here. It is bad enough I have to fight myself without fighting them too.'' Gibbs nodded.

'' Ok.''

'' Although, I would like to see them today before I go to the clinic.'' said Ziva, Gibbs grinned.

'' Make up your mind, woman.'' Ziva grinned back and playfully hit Gibbs' arm.

'' Come on, I need a shower.'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' Is that an invitation?''

'' It is an order.'' said Ziva, holding out her hand, Gibbs took it and they disappeared into the bathroom.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Tony sat at his desk, watching the second hand travelling around the face. He honestly didn't feel like being at work today, Gibbs and Ziva hadn't turned up yet and McGee was still annoyed with him for being an ass to Ziva. His thoughts were interrupted when Jenny stepped in front of his desk.

'' Agent DiNozzo, where are Gibbs and Ziva?'' He was about to answer but McGee beat him to it.

'' Boss sent me a text saying they'll be here in five.'' Jenny nodded.

'' Since when does Boss use texting?'' asked Tony. McGee shrugged.

'' Maybe he told Ziva to text me while they were screwing.'' suggested McGee, getting a dig at Tony. Jenny raised an eyebrow. Tony sighed.

'' Look Pro-''

'' I don't care Tony, you were way out of line.''

'' I apologised!''

'' You shouldn't have said it in the first place!''

'' Gentlemen!'' exclaimed Jenny, McGee nodded and carried on typing. Tony deflated like a balloon.

'' I'm sorry Tim.'' said Tony, McGee looked at him.

'' I'm still annoyed with you but I accept your apology.'' said McGee, going back to his computer. Jenny gave Tony a small smile of reassurance. He was about to return it when Ziva and Gibbs walked into the bullpen. Abby had just walked into the squadroom when she saw them, she ran and gave Gibbs and Ziva a hug.

'' Guys, I missed you!'' she exclaimed, slowly tightening her grip, like a python.

'' Er, Abby?''

'' Abs?''

'' It's not like I ever see you guys, it's just I haven't seen you enough latelty, especially sinc-''

'' Abby!'' said Gibbs and Ziva in unison. Abby let go of them.

'' Sorry.'' Gibbs pulled Ziva to her chair and sat her down. Abby smiled.

'' Aw, that was cute. Are you two together then?'' Jenny and McGee looked up, just in time to see Gibbs give Ziva a small smile.

'' Yes, we are.'' said Gibbs. Abby ' aww-ed', McGee grinned while Jenny smiled. Ziva rolled her eyes and gave a small smile as Gibbs rubbed her shoulder. Ziva looked at her watch to see it was half nine, she still had time.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

At one o' clock Ziva grabbed her purse and coat and looked at Gibbs, who put down his pen and frowned for a minute until he understood why she had did what she did. He put his pen down and was just putting on his coat when Abby bounded into the bullpen.

'' Hey Gibbs I was wondering if you wanted to see my- where are you going?'' Ziva tensed, this was not what she wanted to happen. She could deal with anyone, just not Abby.

'' Me and Ziva are going out for a bit.'' Abby looked at Ziva and then at Gibbs.

'' Where you going?'' Gibbs looked at Ziva, who shifted uncomfortably.

'' Does it matter, we'll be back shortly.'' Abby frowned, then her eyes widened.

'' Your getting rid of it?'' Ziva looked at Gibbs for help.

'' Abs-''

'' Why didn't you tell me Ziva? I could have gone with you!''

'' I know you do not believe in abortion and I-'' Abby walked over to Ziva and pulled her into a hug.

'' Ziva David, you're my friend and I'll support you, like friends are supposed to. It doesn't matter if I agree or not, it's your body.'' Ziva felt a little better and she returned Abby's hug.

'' Thank you Abby.'' Gibbs kissed Abby's cheek and pulled Ziva out from her grip. Abby gave a small wave and watched them leave. She turned to McGee and Tony who were silent throughout the discussion.

'' Did either of you know?'' McGee shook his head.

'' I did.'' Abby frowned and punched Tony in the arm.

'' You should have said! Now since Gibbs can't, who would like to look at my new discovery?''

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ziva held Gibbs' hand while he turned the car off, she took a deep breath.

'' You want me to go in?'' asked Gibbs. Ziva shook her head.

'' I do not think you need to see this.'' Gibbs gripped her hand tighter.

'' Zee, if you want me to go in, I will.'' said Gibbs stubbornly, Ziva looked at him.

'' Would you mind?'' Gibbs kissed her hand.

'' No, I'm right behind you.'' Ziva leant in and kissed him by way off thanks. They broke apart and got out of the car, they walked into the hospital and found the ward their appointment was on. They walked up to the woman behind the counter and stood waiting for her to acknowledge their presense.

'' Can I help?'' asked the blonde nurse, looking like she would rather be somewhere else.

'' Erm, yes, I am here for an abortion.'' said Ziva nervously, Gibbs gave her hand a comforting squeeze. The nurse found a folder and opened it to the day's page.

'' Name?''

'' Ziva David.'' The nurse flicked through the names.

'' Half one?''

'' Yes.'' The nurse ticked a box and wrote down a couple of things and looked back up at Ziva.

'' Seat yourself in the waiting room and a doctor will come out and get you.'' said the nurse, before going back to what she was doing earlier. Ziva nodded and Gibbs guided her to a chair, and they both sat down. Ziva looked at her watch and let out a shaky breath, it was twenty-five past. She looked at Gibbs who was watching a father play with his son, he had a smile on his face and Ziva looked down at her tiny bump and closed her eyes. Her eyes soon opened as Gibbs nudged her and she looked at him.

'' You ok?'' he asked quietly, she was about to answer when a doctor came out of a room.

'' Miss Day-vid?'' Ziva stood, Gibbs was about to get up but she stopped him.

'' I think I got it, I will ask for you if I change my mind.'' Gibbs nodded. Ziva smiled and walked up to the doctor, who held the door open and Ziva walked in. Gibbs sunk down in his chair and resumed watching the father with his son, they were now reading a book together, a tall blonde came out of another room and smiled at the father, he got up and kissed her and rest his hand on her bump. The son got up and tugged at his mother, she smiled and lifted him up and whispered something into his ear. The boy smiled at his mother and wiggled so she put him down. The boy ran to get his coat and on his way back he stopped in front of Gibbs.

'' Heya Mister!'' Gibbs grinned.

'' You look pretty happy.'' observed Gibbs, the boy nodded.

'' I'm getting a little sister!'' Gibbs grinned again. The boy's father came over and held his son's hand.

'' I'm so sorry. Daniel what did I tell you...'' said the father, walking off, leaving Gibbs alone.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

A nurse passed Ziva a gown.

'' There's a cubicle over there, come out here when your ready.'' said the nurse with a smile. Ziva tried to say thanks but it stuck in her throat. She went into the cubicle and changed into the gown, she came back out and saw a nurse and the doctor who had said her name earlier.

'' Miss Day-vid, if you'd like to pop yourself on the bed.'' said the doctor, slowly getting on Ziva's nerves.

'' It is Dah-veed.'' said Ziva, sitting herself on the bed. The nurse grinned at Ziva and Ziva smiled back. The nurse wheeled in a tray full of nasty looking instruments and Ziva closed her eyes.

'' Hi, I'm Rachel.'' said the nurse. Ziva looked at her.

'' Ziva.''

'' That's pretty... Hebrew isn't it?'' Ziva nodded.

'' It means splendour, light and brightness.'' said Ziva, Rachel nodded.

'' Mine's Hebrew, but I have no idea what it means. It probably means chatterbox in some sort of language.'' Ziva laughed. Rachel smiled.

'' Something tells me, that's the first time you've laughed in a while.'' Ziva nodded.

'' It is.'' Rachel was about to speak again, but the doctor came back in.

'' Right Miss Dah-veed, I'd like you to lie back on the bed and spread your legs.'' said the doctor, using her surgically gloved hands to pick up a syringe. Ziva looked up at Rachel, who looked a little solemn. Ziva sat back and exposed herself to the doctor.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Gibbs let his head rest in his hands, glancing up at the clock on the wall every few minutes. It seemed like time had deliberatley slowed down, just to increase his ever growing frustration and worry. He sighed. He'd have liked Ziva to change her mind and not go through it and they could either give the baby up or raise it together, he would have liked to be a father again. Although he could understand how Ziva was feeling, and how she was going to feel afterwards. He knew that she would hate herself, even if she did or didn't get the termination. But he would try his best to help her heal and maybe when she was ready, maybe then they could think about kids.

He looked at the clock and saw it was almost two. He stood up and walked over to the coffee machine and got himself a coffee and sat back down. He looked up to see it was five past. Surely she should be out by now? He took a sip of the 'coffee' and grimaced. He looked at the clock once more before turning back to his coffee.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Abby spun in Gibbs' chair, then stopped and looked at Tony.

'' Why is it taking so long?'' Tony frowned.

'' What d'ya mean Abs?''

'' They've been gone for almost an hour. Surely abortions don't take that long.'' said Abby. Tony looked at Duck, who was sitting in Ziva's chair.

'' It can depend.'' McGee looked up.

'' On what?''

'' The size of the foetus, the mother's condition-''

'' What do you mean ' mother's condition'?'' asked Abby, starting to get a little agitated.

'' Whether or not the mother is healthy, my dear Abigail.'' said Ducky, in his serene voice, that could more than likely calm a stormy sea.

'' Ziva's the healthiest person I know.'' said Tony, Abby nodded.

'' Her mind isn't, at least not right now.'' said McGee, Ducky nodded.

'' Exactly.''

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Gibbs risked a look at the clock only to see it was quarter past, he growled and threw his half empty coffee cup in the bin and sat back down. He tapped his foot and after the fifteenth tap, a door opened, followed by a small ' thank you Doctor', he looked up just to see Ziva walk past him, he got up and ran up to her.

'' Hey, you ok?'' Ziva scoffed.

'' That was possibly the most stupid thing you have ever asked.'' said Ziva. Gibbs looked at her, an eyebrow raised. Ziva sighed.

'' Sorry, I did not mean to snap, I am fine considering.'' said Ziva, before walking out of the hospital, Gibbs only a footstep behind her. They got to the car and got into it an strapped up. Gibbs held the hand closest to him.

'' Ziva-''

'' I am ok, it is gone.'' said Ziva, letting out a sigh. A tear escaped from her closed eyes. Whether it was a tear of happiness, sadness or peace, Gibbs would never know.

'' What do we do now?'' asked Gibbs, Ziva looked at him.

'' We go back to work.'' said Ziva, before turning away from him. Gibbs sighed and started the Sedan.

'' I will help you through this Ziva.'' vowed Gibbs.

'' I know you will.''


	9. Chapter 9

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tragedy

T/M Rating

Thank you so much for your support and reviews and patience. I really seemed to have hit a brick wall, but now, I have an idea, thanks to fanfiction63, who happens to be the most amazing person ever!!!

Those of you who are following my other stories... I apologise for keeping you waiting...

It's a difficult topic and I am trying my best... although I think I have bitten off more than I can chew. So bear with me and we may see some light at the end of an incredibly long tunnel!

Thank you!!!

x x x x

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 9

Walking back into the bullpen, Ziva felt drained, emotionally and physically. She saw Abby bound over to her and she braced herself for the hug she was about to receive, when she heard a sharp Scottish accent telling her to be gentle. Abby stopped her run and hugged Ziva as gently as she possibly could.

'' You ok?''

'' Yes.'' said Ziva, before taking herself out of Abby's hug and walking to the female toilets, where she immediately went to throw up, she stared at her stomach contents and sighed. She wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet. She stood up and tilted her head while looking at her reflection in the wasn't really able to figure out why she was so confused; she felt better but worse and she felt free but trapped. She noticed her hands were shaking and that her head had a dull thudding pain. She shook her head and left the bathroom after washing her hands.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

'' Hey, you ok?'' asked Gibbs. They had decided that maybe spending the day at work after an abortion was not the best idea, so Gibbs had driven Ziva back to his after picking up some of her things. She was now currently lying down on the sofa while Gibbs was sitting in his chair. Some boring film was on the t.v, but it was only there for background noise. Ziva looked at him.

'' No.'' Gibbs got off of his chair and moved to the sofa, lifted her feet and sat on the end with Ziva's feet on his lap.

'' What's wrong? Aside from the obvious.'' said Gibbs as Ziva raised an eyebrow.

'' My head hurts and I feel sick.''

'' Temperature sick?''

'' Yes and vomit sick... oh, that did not sound good, excuse me.'' said Ziva as she got up and ran to the kitchen sink, but she didn't make it and she decorated Gibbs' wall with vomit, Ziva's world spun and she collapsed. Gibbs ran to Ziva, not caring there was puke everywhere and brushed her hair out of her face. She looked at him, tears in her eyes.

'' I am so sorry, I will clean it-''

'' No, I will, you need to rest.'' said Gibbs, before picking her up and taking her upstairs, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door, Ziva watched him as he turned the knob on the shower and water rushed out of the shower head. She observed as he was about to strip her down but looked at her for permission.

'' Do it.'' said Ziva, Gibbs nodded and stripped Ziva of her clothing, Ziva bit back a smile as she saw Gibbs' eyes roaming her body.

'' See something you like?'' Gibbs looked at her apologetically.

'' I'm so-''

'' As far as I was aware, apologies are a sign of weakness and I do not mind you looking at me, I know you will not hurt me.'' Gibbs gave a small smile.

'' Besides, we are together so I really do not mind, as long as you return the favour, at some point soon.'' said Ziva as Gibbs helped her into the warm spray of the shower, she was thankful that he had allowed her a shower rather than a bath, she could only imagine how embarrassed she would be as the water slowly turned a reddish colour. She let out a sigh as she relaxed. Gibbs chuckled.

'' Coming in?''

'' I would, but I need to clean up first.'' Ziva looked away, embarrassed. He put a finger under her chin and turned her head to look at him.

'' It's nothing to be embarrassed about.'' Ziva shrugged.

'' Well, you know I am going to be.'' Gibbs smiled and bent down to kiss her forehead.

'' I'll be back in a few minutes, just relax.'' said Gibbs, before leaving the bathroom with her clothes. Ziva stood back and tried to relax. The hot water was really good for the cramping in her stomach. She thought about what had happened.

She felt bad for the loss of life but she didn't regret it, she loved kids, she remembered when that Korean Operative saw her daughter, Rebecca, she was a very cute baby. Sure she would love a child or two but she could not do it or have it done the way Saleem did. Maybe one day she would have children, maybe they would be Gibbs'. She closed her eyes and thought about what her consensual child would look like, she smiled as she saw a pair of innocent sparkling blue eyes, staring up at her as she looked down upon her child, she smiled at the way the child would say 'daddy' whenever she saw her father, Gibbs, she smiled at the way Gibbs, a hard tough marine, would immediately soften at his child's touch, and how he would laugh when the child would say 'daddy, pick me up', she smiled at the fact that her child was safe and loved, something she never had.

She felt another presence besides herself in the bathroom and she opened her eyes to see Gibbs.

'' Enjoying your shower? '' Ziva nodded.

'' I am thinking. '' Gibbs grinned.

'' Not too hard I hope. '', Ziva smiled.

'' No… well yes, I am thinking about the future. '' Gibbs stood next to the shower.

'' Oh yeah? '' Ziva nodded.

'' This may sound bad, especially after what I have done, but I do want kids. '' Gibbs nodded.

'' Just not Saleem's, even then it's not like you had a choice. '' Ziva shrugged.

'' How do you feel about it? '' Ziva raised her eyebrows.

'' Well Dr Phil-'' Gibbs shook his head,

'' Ziva…''

'' I feel bad, but I do not regret it.'' Gibbs nodded.

'' It's good that you still want kids. '' Ziva nodded.

'' I actually have a choice as to who puts it there. '' Gibbs looked at her to see her looking at him. He reached his hand out and she held it with her wet hand.

'' But not now, maybe in a few months or a year or so. '' Gibbs nodded and kissed her hand and she smiled at the intimate touch.

'' Yeah, maybe. '' replied Gibbs. Ziva smiled again and then her face lost the smile.

'' What's wrong? '' Ziva shook her head.

'' Headache. '' she muttered. Gibbs nodded and tucked a damp curl behind her ear.

'' You want a hand? '' Ziva shook her head. Gibbs moved back while Ziva attempted to get out of the shower on her own, as she stepped forward, a wave of dizziness hit her and made her sway, Gibbs caught her before she could fall and damage herself. Ziva frowned.

'' I was not expecting that. '' murmured Ziva. Gibbs held her wet bare body against his dry clothed one.

'' You ok? ''

'' Dizzy and now I feel sick… again. '' said Ziva before groaning. Gibbs helped her to the toilet where she immediately was sick. Gibbs grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, he waited until she was finished before he picked her up and took her into his room and he lay her on the bed. She bit back a laugh as he set her down with a groan.

'' Not heavy am I? '' Gibbs shook his head.

'' No, I'm just old. '' Ziva shook her head.

'' Well if you want me to run off to McGee's or, God forbid, Tony's just say. '' Gibbs shook his head in amusement before moving off to find a shirt for Ziva.

'' Gibbs, I have my bag-''

'' And the shirts are nearer, I don't want you getting sick. '' Ziva snorted and Gibbs sighed. He held his old NIS shirt and handed it to her and he watched as Ziva looked uncomfortable.

'' What? ''

'' You are looking at me. '' Gibbs rolled his eyes.

'' Ziva, I've seen you naked before. '' Ziva smiled.

'' Fine, if you insist on invading my privacy, at least do the decent thing and dress me. '' Gibbs shook his head and walked over to her and used the towel to dry her, that was when he noticed a scar along her stomach; he took a step back and saw a lot more. Ziva looked down, whether she was embarrassed or ashamed, Gibbs didn't know. He cupped her face.

'' Hey, you don't have to hide them from me. '' Ziva nodded.

'' I wanted to tell you and I wanted you to see them, I just did not know how to say. '' Gibbs nodded and kissed her forehead.

'' You can tell me if you want. But I won't force you, it's up to you. '' Ziva nodded, then shivered. Gibbs dried her carefully before pulling his shirt over her head. She smiled, then blushed as she stood in front of him. Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

'' What? ''

'' This shirt smells like you, it is comforting. '' said Ziva, her blush deepening. Gibbs laughed and pulled her gently into a hug.

'' How about now? ''

'' Very comforting. '' Gibbs chuckled and Ziva looked at him.

'' Would it be alright if I slept for a while? '' Gibbs smiled.

'' 'Course. '' Ziva moved out of Gibbs' embrace and went to leave his room.

'' Where are you going? '' Ziva looked at him.

'' Spare room. ''

'' There's a bed here. '' said Gibbs, pointing at his rather comfortable looking king sized bed. Ziva nodded and went back to him and he pulled back the covers for her to climb in. She climbed in and settled herself in the middle of the bed. He tucked her in and she smiled.

'' You are not coming in? '' Gibbs shook his head.

'' I have a few things to do. I won't be too far away, just shout. '' Ziva nodded and he bent down to kiss her gently. She looked up at him, smiled, then turned over and closed her eyes. Gibbs crept out of the room, leaving the door open in case Ziva needed to get to the bathroom quickly. He descended the stairs and grabbed his cell and dialled a number.

'' Hey Duck, do you have a minute? ''


	10. Chapter 10

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Romance/Tragedy

T/M Rating

Thanks again to my wonderful beta fanfictionfan63 *cue round of applause* who is doing an amazing job! Here's the new chap! Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 10

_'' Hey Duck, do you have a minute? ''_

_'' Why what is wrong my dear fellow?''_

_'' _Can you tell me what Ziva's feeling? I mean physically.''

'' _Well, immediate side effects may include dizziness, vomiting, headaches and possibly a fever.''_

_'' _ Well she's had all of that.''

'' _Where is she now?''_

'' She's asleep, Duck, what can I do?''

'' _Just be there Jethro and love her, Lord alone knows what her mind is doing to her.'' _Gibbs let out a deep breath after he heard Ducky's advice, he never could hide anything from him.

_'' _Ok, thanks Duck, I'll do my best.'' said Gibbs before hanging up. Gibbs sighed and went upstairs to check on Ziva, who was lying on her side. Gibbs stepped into the room and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and placed a hand on her head. She had a temperature, but it was nothing too serious. He was about to leave when he heard Ziva say his name. He froze and turned to see Ziva looking at him. He went back over to her and sat on the bed.

'' I thought you were going to get some sleep?'' Ziva shrugged.

'' I was but I felt something cold on my head.'' Gibbs grinned as she grinned at him.

'' Sorry.'' Ziva brushed it off with a wave of her hand.

'' Do not apologise it is a sign of weakness, yes?'' Gibbs nodded.

'' That's what the rule says.'' Ziva smiled then found Gibbs' hand and held it.

'' I was thinking...''

'' From earlier, when you were in the shower or is this a new thought?''

'' From the shower.''

'' Ok.''

'' I was thinking about what I said earlier. When I said I wanted kids and I said in a few months-''

'' Or a year.''

'' Yes... I lied.'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' How? Don't you want any?''

'' I do... I want them, but I want them to be yours and I want them soon.'' Gibbs froze again.

'' How soon is soon?''

'' This year.'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' Ziver, you've just come out of the hospital-''

'' Jethro-''

'' Can I at least ask Ducky his medical opinion?'' Ziva shrugged.

'' Why?'' she asked, annoyed with Gibbs. Didn't he want to have children with her?

'' Because I don't want to hurt you, not after everything that you've been through.'' Ziva looked at him and sighed. She loved the fact that he had her best interests at heart.

'' You are right, sorry, I did not mean to-''

'' It's ok. Just rest for now and we'll talk to Duck later, ok?'' Ziva nodded and Gibbs got up and walked over to the door.

'' Jethro?'' Gibbs looked at her.

'' Yeah?'' Ziva looked at the blanket.

'' Can you not stay?'' Gibbs looked at his watch.

'' At least until I fall asleep.'' said Ziva. Gibbs nodded and went back over to the bed and took off his shoes and crawled under the covers, once he was settled, Ziva curled herself into his side, mindful of her body's recent trauma. She let her head rest on his chest and Gibbs picked up a damp curl and toyed with it. They both lay there, content in the silence that had been created. After some time Gibbs heard Ziva' deep breathing and decided he didn't have the heart to move her, so he closed his eyes and found himself falling into an easy sleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ziva and Gibbs walked into NCIS, ignoring the looks they were receiving from other agents. Tony stood up from his desk.

'' Boss, I was about to call you.'' Gibbs looked at him.

'' I'm here now.''

'' Oh, well we have a new case Boss.'' Gibbs gave him one of his customary glares, making it very clear that he wanted him to get to the point.

'' It's in Quantico Boss-''

'' DiNozzo, grab McGee, gas the truck.'' Tony sprung into action almost knocking into Ziva as he did.

'' Oh God, Ziva, I'm sor-''

'' Gibbs? Am I not going?'' Tony stopped for a second as Gibbs looked at Ziva.

'' No, desk duty.'' Ziva set her jaw.

'' But I-''

'' Ziver, you've been through enough, I don't want to risk some wackjob hurting you.'' Ziva looked at the floor. She didn't think about that. Gibbs tilted her head up to look at him.

'' I don't want you getting hurt. So for your health and my sanity, please.'' Ziva nodded. Gibbs stroked her cheek, he looked up at DiNozzo. ''Why are you still here?'' Tony winced and went off to find McGee. Gibbs looked at her and smiled, they both walked to the elevator, riding in it to get to Ducky.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

'' Ah, Ziva my dear, how are you?'' Ziva smiled.

'' I am being well looked after.'' she said, looking at Gibbs standing behind her, her hand unconsciously seeking his. Her eyes twinkled in delight as she felt Gibbs' hold on her hand. Ducky smiled, glad to know Gibbs was following his advice.

'' I can see that my dear. Believe it or not Jethro is a good man, very loyal.'' Ziva grinned.

'' I know, he is.'' she said looking into Gibbs' blue eyes, love and admiration shining out of them with every syllable she spoke. Gibbs pressed a kiss to her hair and looked at Ducky.

'' Duck, can we ask you a question?''

'' Of course my dear boy.'' Ziva squeezed Gibbs' hand to get him to ask the question.

'' How long should we wait to have children?'' Ducky looked at Ziva, who had spun around and hid her face in Gibbs' chest.

'' But you just-''

'' Duck.'' said Gibbs, a warning in his voice. Ziva knew what she had done and she felt bad for it.

'' Of course, my apologies, well obviously for medical reasons, you should wait at least two weeks before engaging in any sexual intercourse,'' Gibbs felt his face burn and Ziva buried her head deeper into Gibbs' shirt, '' And for conception, it is advisable you wait for two menstrual cycles before trying.'' Gibbs cleared his throat.

'' Thanks Duck.'' Ziva looked up at him.

'' Yes, thank you.'' Ducky nodded.

'' Ziva, once again, I want to offer my apologi-''

'' It is fine Ducky, you are right. However, I can not see myself carrying or loving that monster's child.'' Ducky nodded again.

'' Of course.'' Gibbs nodded at Ducky before guiding Ziva out of Autopsy and into the elevator. It went up for a few seconds before Ziva flipped the switch.

'' Two menstrual cycles...'' Gibbs kissed her forehead.

'' Two months, Ziva. It'd be best, who knows what complications could arise.''

'' Better safe than sorry, yes?'' Gibbs nodded.

'' It's completely up to you-''

'' I am going to follow Ducky's advice, but...'' Gibbs tilted her head to him.

'' But what?'' he murmered.

'' The two weeks for...''

'' I'm not going to push you, when you're ready, I'm ready.'' Ziva looked at him.

'' I'm sorry Jethro.'' Gibbs pulled her into a hug.

'' Don't be, it's not your fault,'' he murmured against her temple, '' Saleem used you for what he wanted, but I want to show you that for me to be with you is something very special. So why don't you just try to lean back and relax and let me do some good old-fashioned courting to my special lady.''


	11. Chapter 11

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy

T/M Rating

Sorry for the delay... Freaking exams you know? Upside, finished the Spanish for the year, down side... still got two exams to go...

A massive thank you to my loverly beta fanfictionfan63 :)

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 11

Three days later...

'' When you said courting Jethro, I got a picture of courts in my mind... I did not imagine this.'' said Ziva, watching as Gibbs lit the candles in the centre of the table he had set. Gibbs chuckled at her misinterpretation. He stroked her hair before going into his kitchen, Ziva watched him, her browns eyes sparkling in amusement as she heard him moving around in the kitchen.

The team minus Ziva had finished the case only a day ago and Gibbs had given them all time off. He was now currently making them one of Ziva's favourite meals- Spaghetti Bolognese. His idea for a candlelit dinner for two had surprised her, but what had surprised her even more was the fact that he insisted to cook it. So she had humoured him and dressed up for the occasion and he had done the same, even if it was just a candlelit dinner in his living room. Ziva had put on a black dress that clung to the curves she had gained since her... stay in Somalia, she had curled her hair and the make up on her eyes made them stand out and the look of appreciation on Gibbs' face was worth the effort. He had put on a black shirt and a pair of black jeans which he actually looked quite good in and his aftershave made Ziva smile whenever she smelt it.

She looked up as Gibbs walked back in with two steaming plates of freshly made Spaghetti Bolognese, he placed Ziva's in front of her.

'' For the lovely lady.'' She chuckled.

'' Thank you... Jethro it looks great.'' said Ziva, before watching him seat himself. He looked at her.

'' Please... you're too kind.'' She chuckled again, they had hardly done anything yet, she was having a good time. He had put his fork into the spaghetti and twirled it, making the pasta curl around his fork, he raised it to his mouth and sucked it into his mouth, making Ziva laugh.

'' What?'' he asked innocently, an orange line on his chin. Ziva beamed at him.

'' Nothing...'' shrugged Ziva, her eyes sparkling. Gibbs smiled at her, he loved how her eyes lit up in mirth, how she just relaxed in his company. Ziva caught his eye.

'' So how was the case?'' asked Ziva. Gibbs sighed.

'' Pfft, the murderer was such an idiot, he denied everything when it was obviously him,his lying skills left a lot to be desired.'' Ziva laughed, and Gibbs looked at her.

'' Do we have to talk about the case Zee?'' She tilted her head.

'' Not if you do not want to.''

'' I don't.''

'' Well, what would you like to talk about?'' asked Ziva. Gibbs smiled.

'' Whatever you want... that isn't about the case.'' Ziva chuckled.

'' Very specific Agent Gibbs.''

'' Have to be. My job can depend on it.'' Ziva grinned, an idea formng in her head, she just hoped Gibbs would follow.

'' Oh, and what job do you have?'' Gibbs grinned.

'' I'm an NCIS Special Agent. What do you do for a living Miss David?'' Ziva giggled.

'' I am an ex-Mossad officer and I am currently applying for an American citizenship, while working in a Federal Agency, and please Agent Gibbs, call me Ziva.''

'' Mossad, you know how to handle a gun, huh?''

'' Hmm, and a knife.'' Gibbs swallowed his mouthful.

'' Ziva... that's a pretty name, mine's Jethro.'' Ziva stifled a giggle.

'' Jethro, that is a Hebrew name.'' Gibbs nodded.

'' Yeah, it is. So Ziva-'' Ziva giggled again and Gibbs chuckled before continuing, '' you're a very beautiful woman, exotic looking... maybe from the Middle East?''

'' Very good, Jethro. I am Israeli, yes.''

'' A very gorgeous Israeli.'' admitted Gibbs, Ziva laughed and rest her head on her hand.

'' You are not so bad looking either.'' she said with a genuine smile. Gibbs chuckled. He reached across the table and caught her hand, to hold it in his own large, calloused hand, Ziva bit her bottom lip and smiled. She could feel a blush growing on her cheeks as he began to stroke her hand with a calloused thumb. Their eyes connected and they could feel themselves growing closer but they stopped as they could feel heat growing and it wasn't the loving kind. The candle flickered dangerously close to Ziva's hair so they sprung apart. They looked at each other again and laughed. And it wasn't a 'ha-ha', it was a side splitting, uncontrollable laugh.

'' That wasn't textbook romance.'' said Gibbs through a laugh, Ziva used her free hand to hold her side.

'' No. That could only happen to us.'' The laughter died down and they were looking at each other again. They were growing closer again and Gibbs held up his hand and blew out the candle, before using the hand that wasn't holding Ziva's hand to cup her face and kiss her. She returned it and giggled when Gibbs put his elbow in his dinner. She pulled away laughing, Gibbs sighed.

'' Perhaps we should wrap the dinner up, huh?'' Ziva threw her head back and laughed, Gibbs mock frowned.

'' It's not funny Ziva.'' but that made her laugh even harder. Gibbs chuckled and stood.

'' Dessert?''

'' Yes... please..'' said Ziva between giggles.


	12. Chapter 12

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy

T/M Rating

Massive thank you to my beta **Fanfictionfan63**, who just happens to be the best :) and another thank you to all of you, my reviews are intense and I honestly can't believe I reached the 100 mark! Thanks!

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs see's right through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 12

Gibbs led Ziva through his house and up the stairs to his bedroom, while he was, he mentally kicked himself. Only he could cock up the most important dinner introducing him to a potential future with Ziva. Ziva on the other hand was still laughing, to her it showed her that not everybody was perfect, not even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and it was an assurance she needed, not right now but it was something that satisfied her subconscious thoughts. _'It's ok to not be perfect', _Ziva's new rule, it might not be rule 'numero uno' but it was important all the same.

Walking on the landing and into Gibbs' room, Ziva felt her heart sink, not now...

Gibbs felt resistance on the other end of his hand and he stopped to see Ziva looking at him with a hint of pain in her eyes.

'' You ok?'' he asked, Ziva looked at the floor and suddenly it dawned on him.

'' Oh Ziva, we're not going to jump into the sack. We have over ten adays, at least for that. I brought dessert up here, I thought it would be more...-''

'' Romantic?'' asked Ziva, Gibbs nodded.

'' Yeah, that...'' said Gibbs, wow, was it him or was it hot? Ziva bit her lip as she saw a blush spreading on Gibbs' face.

'' I think it is a great idea, I love how your mind works.'' said Ziva honestly. Gibbs winked at her making her laugh and helped her into his room. She stepped into the room and her jaw dropped and a gasp escaped. He had closed the curtains and lit several candles, giving the room a warm cosy glow, he also had a a variety of miniature desserts dotted around the room. She looked at him and he shrugged modestly.

'' I didn't know what you liked, so I got a bit of everything.'' Ziva beamed at him.

'' Nobody has ever gone through this amount of trouble for me... ever.''

'' No trouble.'' said Gibbs, leading her over to the bed and watching her seat herself. He sat next to her and grinned.

'' Where d'you want to start?'' Ziva looked at all of the puddings, biting her lip in anticipation as she took in all of the creams, chocolates, mousses and cheesecakes.

'' Erm... wherever you... What is your favourite dessert?'' asked Ziva looking at him, Gibbs grinned.

'' Sly... erm, I really love love trifle.'' said Gibbs getting up and picking up the small bowl of strawberry trifle, he sat back down and picked up two spoons and handed one to Ziva.

'' What's your favourite layer?'' asked Gibbs as he stuck his spoon into the pudding after Ziva did. Ziva ate a bit of hers.

'' The jelly and sponge bit, yours?''

'' Oh, the cream... my mom used to put chocolate shavings on it, it was the best trifle in all of Stillwater.'' said Gibbs proudly. Ziva smiled.

'' That good, huh?'' Gibbs nodded.

'' Oh yeah.'' he said through a mouthful of cream.

'' My mother was the same, nobody could beat her apple pie or her chocolate gateaux, or her lemon and ginger cheesecake... that was to die for.'' said Ziva nostalgically. Gibbs grinned.

'' You can cook can't you? You could make it.'' Ziva nodded and finished her mouthful before answering.

'' I could but it would not be the same.'' she said, putting down her spoon, Gibbs finished his bit and he sighed.

'' That was good... you pick next?'' Ziva stood and picked up the chocolate gateaux and grinned. Gibbs watched as she sat down. He watched her subtly lick her lips and he chuckled.

'' You're looking forward to that.'' she looked at him and gave him a smile.

'' Uh huh.'' she was about to scoop some up with a spoon but Gibbs pulled a fork out of his breast pocket, Ziva laughed and he put some on the fork and held it to her mouth. She giggled and took it off with her mouth, her mocha eyes never leaving his aqua ones. Gibbs leant in and kissed a small smudge of chocolate off of the corner of her mouth. Ziva smiled and let her forefinger scrape some of the icing from the the top of the gateaux and lifted it to Gibbs' mouth where he captured it in his mouth and sucked off the chocolate. Ziva pulled her clean finger away and grinned as Gibbs got rid of the cutlery.

'' I don't think we need them anymore.'' Ziva bit her lip.

'' Me neither.'' Gibbs scraped more of the chocolate icing off of the cake onto his finger then onto Ziva's lips, he looked at her and she tilted her head, giving him the go ahead. He leant forward and captured her lips in his, grinning to himself as she let out a little moan. They began to deepen the kiss and Gibbs put his hand down... straight into the gateaux. The kiss broke off and he cursed.

'' I'm useless.'' he said. Ziva watched him, he looked defeated, but she couldn't help but laugh.

'' No you are not, it is just an... inventive way to eat, not to mention you do not have to worry about washing up.'' said Ziva before taking Gibbs' hand and licking the chocolate off. The chocolate had ended up on his pulse point and she was slowly licking it off, sucking gently at his pulse point. Gibbs moaned and he could feel his blood rushing to a certain part of his anatomy. He pulled his hand away and Ziva looked at him.

'' Sorry, was I-''

'' No, no, it wasn't you, it's me.'' Ziva tilted her head.

'' I do not understand...'' Gibbs looked at her and felt his conscience eating at him, she looked so sad and a little lost.

'' You don't want to go too far, right? Well, if you carry on, I'm going to be uncomfortable.'' Recognition dawned on Ziva's face, following that was a devious smirk.

'' Oh, well I am sorry-''

'' Don't apologise, seriously, it's... great, just... save it for another time, when you're ready.'' said Gibbs seriously, he wanted nothing more than to respect Ziva's wishes.

'' We do not have to go all the way, maybe some.'' Gibbs cupped her face with his un-sticky hand.

'' Is that what you want?'' Ziva looked at him and bit her lip.

'' Yes... No... I do not know... I want to go at least a small distance but I-''

'' We don't have to, not now. We've gotten somewhere, there is no rush.'' said Gibbs, before pressing a kiss to her temple. Ziva nodded and Gibbs reached over and picked up another dessert.

'' Now, it's not lemon and ginger, but I've a feeling you will like it.'' said Gibbs, grinning as Ziva's eyes lit up.

'' Cheesecake!'' He laughed and they fed it to each other, taking their time and once they had finished Gibbs picked up all of the empty plates and took them out of the room, leaving a very full feeling Ziva lying on the bed.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Gibbs filled the dishwasher and put it on, he was thankful for this piece of technology, at least. He thought to himself for a second, Ziva was unsure at where she wanted to be, she wanted to go further but at the same time, she was reluctant. He hoped they could find level ground as if they didn't, whatever they had could fall down right around them. He was adamant that he was going to respect her wishes but at the same time, he wanted to touch her and kiss her and make love to her, not for his own needs, but to show that she was still beautiful, regardless of the scars those... assholes inflicted upon her. He sighed and left the kitchen to go upstairs.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ziva smiled at him as he walked into the room, he sat on the bed next to her and settled down resting his head on his pillow. Ziva remained sitting up on the bed and looked down at him.

'' Tired?'' Gibbs shrugged.

'' Comfy, anyway. Come 'ere.'' said Gibbs, lifting his arm to make room for Ziva. She smiled gently and settled down to lay her head on Gibbs' chest. She bit her lip as he trailed his fingers along her bare arm until he found a curl to toy with. Her head raised as Gibbs inhaled deeply then exhaled.

'' This is nice.'' said Gibbs, Ziva raised an eyebrow, not that he could see.

'' What?''

'' Us, just laying here.'' Ziva scoffed.

'' It is yes, but I want to ask you something, and I know I am not letting the snoozing dog lie but-''

'' Sleeping, Ziver and just say what's on your mind.'' Ziva exhaled.

'' You know what I want and at what speed, so to speak, but what do you want?'' asked Ziva, fiddling with one of Gibbs' buttons, waiting for his answer.

'' Honestly?''

'' Well, I would prefer that you did not lie to me.'' Gibbs chuckled.

'' Yeah, well, erm... I don't know when, well I do, when you're ready, I want to make love to you, make you see how beautiful you are. Because I honestly don't care about your scars, to me they don't matter, you're still you. Ziver, you're perfect, despite everything. And I don't know how I can show you that, without proving it to you with my body.'' Ziva smiled into his chest and sat up, looking into his eyes.

'' You mean that?'' Gibbs nodded, while reaching up to her face and stroking her cheek.

'' Yeah, I do.'' Ziva looked away for a second before looking back.

'' You think I am beautiful?'' Gibbs smiled.

'' Yeah, you are Ziva.'' she bit her lip.

'' You are not that bad looking either, in fact I think you could give Tony a run for his money... in fact, you already have.'' gushed Ziva. Gibbs pulled her face down gently and pressed a kiss to her lips which she gladly returned. They broke apart and Ziva lay back down on his chest.

After at least half an hour in comfortable silence, they had both succumbed to sleep, their hands intertwined, both of them dreaming. Ziva's dreams however were taking a less than pleasant path.


	13. Chapter 13

Gibbs/Ziva fic: Unwanted Nightmare

Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy

T/M Rating

Shalom, long time no see... I was trying to finish all of the

other unfinished ones in turn and then it came to this and my

musa just would not co-operate.

A massive thank you so much for your help and wisdom, **fanfictionfan63, **really it means alot and well... you're just great :D

Summary: What happened if Ziva returned from Somalia with

a horrible nightmare in reality she couldn't get rid of? She tries

to hide it from Gibbs, but Gibbs being Gibbs sees right

through her mask. Will he love and support her ... of course he

will... it's just a matter of her letting him.

Chapter 13

_After at least half an hour in comfortable silence, they had_

_both succumbed to sleep, their hands intertwined, both of them_

_dreaming. Ziva's dreams, however, were taking a less than_

_pleasant path._

_Flash, sand, heat, flash, darkness, coldness, flash, a harsh_

_laugh, the sting of a slap across a cheek, flash, unbearable_

_weight and pain, flash, a cruel laugh, jeering and the sound of_

_unconsensual skin on skin, a scream ripping_

_from a throat._

'' Ziva! Ziva! Wake up!''

_Hands pawing at her, ripping, pulling, violating._

'' Ziva!'' Gibbs cupped her face as she began to lash out. Gibbs

moved back, the last thing he wanted was for her to think he

was Saleem. He thought for a moment and he nodded.

'' David! You're late!'' he said in his best authoritative tone.

The thrashing stopped and Ziva woke, shaking. She took a

moment to gather her bearings and to make sure she wasn't in

Somalia. After a moment she looked at Gibbs.

'' You were dreaming. I tried to wake you-'' began Gibbs but

Ziva got out of the bed and began to walk away. Gibbs

frowned and went after her.

'' Where you going?''

'' I can not stay here... I could have hurt you. And do NOT say

that I did not, I know I was thrashing around... I always do.''

Gibbs followed her downstairs, which is when he took the

opportunity to look at the time. It was 2:30 in

the morning. '' Ziver, you can't go.'' Ziva stopped and turned to look at him.

'' Why can I not? Because you said so?''

'' Because it's half two in the morning, I really don't want you

wandering around at this time, just after you've woken up

from your nightmare. I want you to stay here so I can look

after you.'' Ziva sighed and felt her bottom lip

tremble.

'' Jethro...'' Gibbs walked over to her and pulled her into a hug

and he stroked her hair.

'' Come on, we'll go back to bed. Or if you want, we can talk

or watch a film or-''

'' I would like to go back to bed, if that is alright.'' said Ziva in

a small voice. Gibbs nodded and turned them both around to

go back upstairs. As they both walked back up the stairs, they

both thought about what had just happened.

Needless to say, Gibbs was frightened, in all the time he

had known Ziva, he had never seen so many of her disallowed

and withheld emotions on her face and in her eyes. She

was upset, scared and fearful. The burning desire to go back to

Somalia to bring Saleem back to life and kill him again was

overwhelming. His death wasn't enough retribution for what

Ziva had suffered.

Ziva on the other hand was waiting for a chance to leave. She

was afraid she had hurt Gibbs, and that was the last thing she

wanted to happen. Saleem had hurt her enough for her to be

afraid. And even though it was Gibbs, her hero, her saviour,

she was still afraid, not of him, but of hurting him. She had to

leave before she could harm him.

As they crawled back into bed, Gibbs could obviously

unconsciously sense what was running through

Ziva's mind as he wrapped his arm around her tiny waist.

Ziva froze and let Gibbs spoon her. She moved her head back

and she could feel him nosing her head.

'' Do you wanna talk about it?'' Ziva hesitated for a second and

let out a long breath.

'' Not really.'' At her answer Gibbs kissed her head and held

her closer to him.

'' Don't leave, Ziva.''

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

As Gibbs woke, he smiled to himself as he could feel a

warmth in front of him; Ziva hadn't left him, even though he

could tell she wanted to. He froze momentarily as she stirred

and moved around so that she was facing him and they were

nose to nose. He watched her sleep, smiling more at every

gentle puff of air on his face. He laid in silence, feeling his

eyes drifting open and close, in and out of a sleepy state. He

woke up completely when he felt Ziva snuggle into him more.

He opened his eyes and moved his hand up to run a long

finger along her cheek. She stirred at the touch and her eyes

opened, making Gibbs smile even more. Ziva's gaze rested on

the former marine on front of her and she stifled a yawn

before moving even closer to him and tucking her head just

beneath his.

As much as Gibbs liked the cuddly Ziva, he felt something

tugging at the rational part of his brain. This was the same

woman who wanted to up and leave just a few hours earlier.

Something had changed. He didn't want to disturb it but he

couldn't leave it either.

'' Ziva?''

'' Hmm?'' Gibbs hesitated just for a second.

'' Are you alright?'' Ziva moved herself to look up at him.

'' Why do you ask that?'' her voice laced with sleep-filled

confusion. Gibbs stroked her cheek.

'' Well, you wanted to leave and now-'' His sentence was cut

off midway as Ziva curled back into him with a satisfied sigh.

'' I am safe with you. Why leave if you can protect me?'' Gibbs

nodded, the meaning of her words hitting home. She felt safe

with him. She wasn't going anywhere. But he was still

confused.

'' But the nightmare-''

'' Gibbs, I only suffered one nightmare last night, normally it is

a cluster of them. I have one, I wake up then go back to

sleep... it is a cycle that has never been broken. But now it is...

because you are protecting me.'' explained Ziva

tiredly.


End file.
